I am in the spectrum as well with two adult children one diagnosed in the spectrum. I didn’t receive my diagnosis until my adult years which was not 100% relieving. It definitely continued to be a challenge. I am proud of my autism and who I am and how I can help thoughs in the spectrum and parents because I to am capable of understanding, expressing and explaining, with the hope I am able to give a different and better perspective of what it is like living on the spectrum. My goal and desire is to continue advocating and supporting autism awareness. I would just like to elaborate why finding out my diagnosis was not a full positive experience for me. I have listened and read so many other adults that have been diagnosed outside of their childhood and adolescent years, most commenting on how relieved and happy to finally be diagnosed. I was too, but then there was the moment after. Yes, it explained and answered one why, why was I different, but I had a how and another why and a who.
The how was, how did I manage all these years, why did I fall apart, and who am I. When I was a child I desperately struggled, as an adult I navigating very well through this maze called life. I managed as a parent and business women, but when these two roles dramatically changed, I became very lost and disorientated in this maze. It was very difficult to grab how I was so capable one day and my lifetime differences were associated to autism. It was only one moment to the next with no warning in that maze, where I returned to my childhood autistic behaviors. I came face to face with my realiy, myself, it was more then scary. One year later I received a autism diagnosis and started my journey toward getting help. In therapy is where and when I learned I lived out all my masks, my titles didn’t carry the same importance as they once had and I couldn’t find anything else to hide behind. Loving my children plus my career was easy and very natural. This was who I was and all my confidence, it was all my days, all my moments in my days, all my years, my only routine, my only responsibly, my only life, my only me. We all heard the words empty nest, well, I think I explained enough:) I to want to help the children, as well as any adults who might be struggling with their successes and with a blink of an eye their world is turned up side down…
love and peace to all
on this site is deep reading
it is meant for open and honest discussion
for healing, but only and always with positive intention and inspiration:)!