new sun

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today is a new sun

but still i want to run
or take a fast ride
to the sky
so i can hide
no more my reality
setting me free
from my misery
my life full of sorrow and anxiety
and feeling everything is so scary
my joy is rarely
though it does come weekly
but still scarcely
so i went on each knee
asking God seriously
please release me
from this earth
because it wasn’t worth
my mother giving birth
my children are
the only exception
but they are no longer
my protection
always feeling like a freak
but during the week
when i feel bleek
i get a call or an email
and without fail
i feel better
and can pull it together
and on Thursdays
i get excited just to meet
i always smile when we greet
so my doctor i wait to seek
and soon as we speak
our laughter out it
begins to sneak
and my happiness starts to peek
but to quickly
my sadness will heavily leak
as it is time to go
our sessions
are always fast never slow
and it’s so hard
each time to say goodbye
i want to scream and cry
only you i’ve been able
to look in the eye
and it makes me feel
i don’t want to die
only you i can relay
and for my needs
you always reply
so you motivate me
to continue and try
but i’m sorry i can’t alway comply
never wanting to disappoint you
and make you sigh
i never know what to do
because sometimes
i’m too afraid to see you
•••

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