confused

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how i interpret the logical song

life way from home was so long
was it right or was it wrong

a story has more then one side
for each i wanted to run and hide
home or away
i didn’t want to stay
with abuse and neglect everyday
it is sick to say
home was ok
in every place
no matter the case
sadness was always on my face

with an empty space
and pain in my heart
never acceptance, always a part
straight from the start
from my earliest memory
i hold my own key
there was never we
always trapped never free
what i could see
was the struggle
made a better me
though now i don’t always agree
i did learn to fight
with all my might
with happiness never in sight
always feeling low
my days went so slow
a hard and scary way to grow
only fear continued to flow
as a child i would never know
where the courts
would make me go
with every institution
was more confusion
always wishing to go home again
only wanting my family
to be my friend
even for pretend
just myself to depend
alone, unable to fend
no one’s hand there to lend
no where for me to blend
i was never flexible
or able to bend
was only one way for this to end
my life i would try to send
to heavans gate
God didn’t hesitate
he said you need to wait
with real hate
angry the rescues weren’t late
to no surprise
when first opening my eyes
in the hospital my father
was never there
through my life
a feeling i couldn’t bear
in the mirror i would only stare
asking why didn’t anyone care

never feeling it isn’t fair

thinking my happiness
must be somewhere
i desperately wanted to go there
my thinking turned
from every experience i learned
lessons were hard
but sometimes still off guard
now that i am old
with the memories i hold
carrying a heavy load
remembering the world is cold
i was never really bold
once i was told
one day i would unfold
well i did
just like when i was a kid
now what should i do
i can try for number two
and maybe i will succeed
because this time
God has agreed
and my great doctor will be freed
from my loving need
and all my greed
•••

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