refuse

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i won’t write anything bad
this i refuse
but in a battle am close to lose

my feelings and thoughts
i don’t choose
the differences i start to confuse
i really want or need you to call
i’m afraid soon i will fall
and my hard work
i’ll lose it all
i am standing strong
but scared something
will go wrong
everything could quickly turn
even though i’m being sturn
PLEASE DR. SPAN
the dark place
i don’t want to return
experience is how i learn
things go good
then they burn
up in smoke
with anxiety i start to choke
once it’s done
it can’t be revoked
any success will be a mess
it won’t matter to me
not necessarily
but most likely
i will loss all capability
to adequately see
i go blind
when not in the right mind
then my behavior
starts to wither
what ever comes next
leaves me bitter
you think over time
i would figure
to start and consider
any action
and remember
there’s no retraction
the way i act
for someone my age
it’s only humiliation
though you always
give me the impression
you don’t feel to quit
and with me
your so patient
but your point i never get
that i shouldn’t let
myself be so upset
anyway
i’m jumping to conclusion
maybe we won’t talk
and there’s another resolution
but in the position
of uncertainty of this situation

PLEASE don’t what for Monday
it will only be more accumulation
of so much anticipation

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