nothing personal

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I made it clear and apologized many times
when the woman you told to call, asked if she could help
when I kept replying nope
I assured her it was nothing personal
I only could of and wanted to talk with you, sorry if I am putting your foot in an uncomfortable shoe
now needing to explain a thing or two maybe more, since I opened Pandora’s door
straight to the core, my life is never a bore, though it makes my brain completely sore
I wrote things below hoping to show
plus to help you understand but I think you can start to maybe see firsthand
my intellect is still quit grand
but I need to start from each beginning stand
the missing crp certificates are not sent yet
it’s not only my problem that I will forget
but to be frank my mind goes blank
I am so darn smart though I have to re-start
like I have never seen, or done any part
for me time escapes and will run
believe me it’s frustrating and defiantly no fun
I don’t wait on purpose to get things done
it is hard and hurts to think
and even more to start over and repeat
I am giving you the worsted for you to see
it’s not my faults I only fear, it’s the information the other week I decided to share
my lifetime diagnosis and my stroke symptoms fight each other without any care
I never believed in excuses, I always lived every day
when there is a will there is a way
for me these words are still here to stay
despite my processing in black and white and difficult gray
it is my integrity on display,
it’s not about my pride I show or hide
I learned to adapt more than one side that helps my guide through high and low tide
no worry about consequence, with my executive function disturbance there isn’t any safety interferes
I would never deny what is in the best interest and I only supply complete protection and care
as always for the children I’ve held dear that for each year
twenty one to be exact and I would take nothing back
I am waiting for that doctor’s letter stating that I am still clever
stressing my personal dilemma has created my disabilities but has not eliminated all my capabilities and for the protection and safety of children I am not a liability.
Dear Robin Beller,   (This was my first original letter)
I write this letter with no complaint, because I for sure am no Saint
the info I shared comes with many factors to bare
time is a problem of mine, staying on task is difficult to last
doing it once is hard enough, then confusing me sternly makes it even more rough
I am the hardest person on myself who is tough
I am very much on top of what I need to do or what was done
if I don’t remember due to my memory dilemma, I will know, I can tell
I received a letter stating Ms. Hernandez had an unapproved application
just all I needed was another complication
when the error is mine I  believe it’s a crime
when it’s someone else’s mistake, it’s fine
except if they continue to occur, it’s not a good sign
but I don’t easily frustrate
Ms. Facal told me she never got Ms. Hernandez’s criminal history and Tb medical
I don’t like to entertain tit for tat as a debate
I explained I came to the office, got a receipt stamped with a date
it wasn’t US mail
I don’t frequently express my intelligence or excellence for detail and this did not fail
it is a blessing  and a curse
though it’s the reliance assuring  my guidance
I request this letter is between me and you in confidence because I need reinsurance
I am too old and tied for any consequence
the other day you use the word paranoid, I use experience
I have Ms. Facal for a short while
ratting someone out is definitely not my style
I admit the illness can make my to do list a very large pail
but all the confusion and error was all Ms. Facal
honestly a wondered about her capability
forgetting the inspection date not once but twice
I hope you don’t think I am not being very nice
she is fine by me with my only reference
she can fit a professional preference
not that it’s my choice, but I like to express my voice
this letter must stay between me and you
I don’t want her to think I am not happy  in all she must, can and should do
or better yet believe I think she is not capable too
it is essentially opposite, I don’t want to automatically be seen as if I don’t follow through a
or I must of forgot or I defiantly must have miss understood
It is clear to me what I do or when I’m right or wrong
so it scares me to have this shadow I call scapegoat follow me along
I just wanted to explain in the small time frame
not that I am interested or care to set any blame
thought Ms.Facal was not 100% on top of her game.
Ps. Of course I am ashamed
as a crime I’d wait to be arraigned
I wrote this letter long ago
and have the last two cpr papers to show
so why not send with just a click
It would seem so easy to find the time,
go back to do that one little bit, but the problem is it all needs to fit

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