please answer me this

why can’t i move on
my feelings are never gone
last night i wrote i’m ok
i didn’t really feel that waythere-is-always-a-bigger-picture-life-quotes-sayings-pictures
all hope went a stray
5:30am in bed i lay
waking up to an email with no words to say
just two dots and a parenthesis to relay
a reply of hey
and with no delay
my smile was ready to play
but it doesn’t stay
why should i feel so gray
why am i stuck almost everyday
i did so much to send
but my feelings won’t bend
i am not  angry or mean
that is not my scene
i have lost any and all routine
thinking only in between
feeling black, purple and green
compulsively wanting to clean
my thoughts so concrete
quick and strong, like a navy fleet
writing over and over, sheet after sheet
theses feelings giving off such heat
i get so hot
wanting to rush to my plot
it all hurts a lot
my thoughts constantly hop
i only want the pain to stop
this phase will go
but always continue to show
i dislike going with the flow
and it takes so slow
though i do know
it will go
and each time hoping i shall grow


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