my brain works slow

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my brain works slow
so how do I really know
what’s true and what’s a show
I cannot conceive
how my husband can believe
I don’t want my daughter to achieve
so all the attention I could receive
was that a joke too
I never know what is true
than I am always stuck what to do
this is what I told you
people get sick of me
they change and get completely angry
I don’t know where the beginning start
but I do know where it falls apart
the life is gone in my heart
I know then it’s time to end
to make my leap and descend
that has been my trend
it will be harder this time to fend
but I’m a machine and I can’t pretend
I don’t expect life to be fair though it’s harder when it’s unclear
I taped a lot so you could hear
what time is like and what I bear
maybe after I share
and since you care
you will tell me I got it wrong
it’s like a song
you can interpret many ways a word
always depending how it was heard
if it was expressed in sadness or madness
it all changes the fame
but I am not the same
I am kind, that will always remain
what even is the scene, I will not be mean
though when it was time for bed
I only hoped in my head
my husband was a sleep
not just because it was a day of weep
does he truly love me or he looks at me as someone stupid and cheap
I rotate my thoughts who or what am I to him
everything he had said he repeated making things feel and look so dim
all because he thinks it’s possible since I am slim
I do nothing for my daughter’s weight
so I made her fate
that is trash and it can’t even make me irate
because I know I want my daughter to feel great
but what could he think of me
respect, there couldn’t be
love, how I just don’t see
it would be awful if his thoughts were true
that is abuse for a mother to do
just considering something is demeaning
how do I find any reasoning

 

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